The Antitweet

October 5, 2009

Sasquatch Renews Contract with Jack Links

Filed under: Pop Culture — theantitweet @ 3:33 pm
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As the saying goes.”..what Sasquatch catches…Sasquatch eats.” Which is why, in an act of corporate citizenship, the Beef Jerky company Jack Links began talks with the reclusive North American legend “Big Foot” (now going by his more formal name Sasquatch) early in the decade.  After many years of off again/on again talks, the two sides reached a 2005 deal to both promote the company’s product and provide public service announcements reminding humans venturing into the forests of North America to avoid the temptation to play practical jokes on the famous forest dweller.

Formally known as BigFoot Sasquatch shows off his famous feet

Formally known as BigFoot Sasquatch shows off his famous feet

“There was risk on both sides — if Sasquatch felt we were playing a trick on him during contract negotiations, he would have killed and eaten members of our staff — it was truly a lesson in high stakes cultural communications” said James Stanford, Director of Communications for Jack Links.  “There were also some trust issues in through the first few PSA/commercials we filmed”.  We had to fill him up on beef jerky so that he wouldn’t eat the actors.  Now that we are in our second contract, trust is a given.” Stanford continued.

“Jerky tastes better than humans anyway” Sasquatch said through a translator on Thursday. “Humans are warned, Jack Links sales sky-rocked — it was a true win-win. This deal just expands on that and will hopefully lead to even fewer humans being killed and eaten at my hands”.

Sasquatch inks second deal with Jack Links

Sasquatch inks second deal with Jack Links

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